By special request for Chunks.

Ok, so I know I haven't been bloggin very regularly, there has been too much going on on the homestead to blog.
So I canvassed my peeps and chunks suggested I blog about A. How I came out or B. how I met Rochelle.
Well to keep things straight (lol No pun intended) I thought would go chronologically to keep things simple..
Officially I came out to myself in 95 or 96.. it was one of those self realizations where I finally was willing to admit that it wasn't just a phase... and I was willing to say I was gay, not bisexual which I had clung onto for a long time..
I should probably back it up to my teens, when I first probably realized it.. but like I said I would never admit it to me or anyone back then..
JT has discussed the person whom I tested the waters with back when I was 17. He refers to her as the Slut. Well really that is what she was (maybe she still is). JT introduced me to her, he met her at some new years party and brought her and her hairy but nice friend(long story, but hairs needs her own blog entry) into our group. When I met the slut, she was dating 2 or maybe 3 people at the same time.. I don't know if we thought this was cool, but it was definitely a departure from the usual people we hung with so I guess it intrigued me, and JT initially (JT you can respond to whether or not this was the case for you. Don't want to speak for you). The Slut had a way with people, she always seemed to be able to seduce people, not always in the sexual way, (most of the time it was thought lol)
Anyways the Slut and I clicked. Initially it was b/c I played guitar and she sang in a band so we started hanging out b/c of the music.. We hung out all the time and eventually we had a 'moment' after a night of drinking which back then was every nite except for Sat and Sundays.. Well after that moment I was a bit wrapped you could say. JT tried to undo the evil he had brought into our little group (lol I know I am being dramatic but stay with me) but I wouldn't listen. I was completely infatuated with her... She used and abused me you could say but I kept coming back for more.. this whole drama lasted over a year.. maybe more... JT could probably confirm the exact dates and times.... lol I am not sure what finally broke her spell on me.. maybe I have blocked it out. Maybe I just grew up .. not sure..
Well in 90 I packed up and moved to calgary to go to university, so I left all that behind. Still not out to myself I dated a few people. nothing serious, just casual dates here and there. Fast forward to 95 I think anyways,,, maybe it was 96.. I got a computer and internet access.. AOL to be exact.. I was on dial up way back then and AOL was costing me per hour that I was online.. God thats crazy if you think about it.. considering its unlimited now.. anyways I discovered lesbian chat rooms.. Really opened my eyes..for awhile I was addicted to the chats, b/c I was in the discovery phase of all this. I remember one month I had a $200 AOL bill for my overages on my minutes.. Crazy.. Anyways, I managed to meet a couple normal people... by normal I mean people who didn't want just pics, or cyber..(never understood that)..
I honestly can't remember who I met first whether it was Mike (code name) or clucky.. JT do you remember.. I think they overlapped.. god that is bad.. its only been 10 years.. getting old.. Anyways I will tell you about Mike first. Her real name was Lisa, I called her Mike to hide the fact that she wasn't a man.. lol Her screen name was mickey, hence Mike.. anyways, we connected online. Her more than me but it was all new to me so I rolled with the flow as you say. She was from Texas. We talked every day, she sent me gifts, and eventually in 96 I met her. I was going to CA on Vacation and she flew to LA to meet me for a weekend of my trip.. Pretty cool, she also flew her friends down from San Fran for the weekend, so this was my first experience hanging with the Gyrls so to speak. it was a good time. I wasn't worried about being in a gay bar b/c I was in another country and was pretty sure I wouldn't see anyone I knew.. Lol, Anyways the first meeting went well, and in Feb she came up for Valentines day weekend.. Then she flew me down to TX for Easter.. craziness I know.. (she had money as you can tell).. I know I probably gave my family and JT a heart condition b/c they still thought Mike was a guy and that I was going down to meet this strange guy in a different country.. lol Sorry didn't mean to scare you all.. Anyways, I spent 2 weeks in TX, things kinda cooled off on my end after I got back and Mike and I slowly parted ways..
It was after this that I first came out to someone.. It was JT, I was back in my hometown visiting my dad and JT and I went out for drinks.. I wanted to tell him so I kept buying him drinks and when I got the nerve, I blurted out that I was Lebanese.. lol (remember Ellen?) SO anyways, JT was the first person I told, and right after I told him he called his wife and said he was gonna be a while b/c Margo just told him she was lebanese.. Anywhoo. it was a good nite, he was pretty choked when I told him that Mike was actually Lisa,,and couldn't believe that I kept it straight with the pronouns and stuff.. lol Thanks for listening JT.. God love ya..
Next up Clucky..
Clucky was just a friend I met online. We clicked b/c of her love for Melissa.. The reason I am telling you all about Cluck is that she coached me through going to my first gay bar by myself, and she was online when I came out to my mom..By online I mean I was chatting with her on AOL the same nite I sent my mom an email telling her I was gay.. Scary shit I tell you. I was AOL messenger and I could see my mom online after I had called her and told her to check her email.. It was a good 45 mins before she emailed me back.. I was freaking out, and Clucky kept me calmm..
The good news is that she sent a really nice email, saying that she wondered why I was alone still. and that she had a feeling.. and although she didn't understand that I was alway welcome in her home and that she loved me no matter what, she just wanted me to be happy.. It was a good day..
It was a really nice email, I wish I still had it but I lost it after a computer crash..

Anyways,, that is the coles notes version.. there is more to say but I will leave that for another blog..

Margs